December 24, 2008

There Has To Be More To Life

I wake up in the morning without a thing to say.
I am not happy, nor am I sad.
I am a victim of being average.
What I believe is not important.
Everything is synical.
Speech is filled with bland stories of yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I accept friendship is on a hollowed ground and love is on a need to have basis.
This life is so fragile.
It sickens me that everyday I grow more resentful of how much I hate being right all the time.

December 8, 2008

Old Views In A New Age

Who I am, what I am.
As if I have any fulfillment within my soul.
When shall the sun rise over my world views.
Make me believe there is truth and justice and love.

I wander in a wreckless haze.
Blinded by my heritage, blinded by my society.
A nationality of mass stupidity.
Why won't everyone just shut up!!!!

You all think you are so smart.
Your values are sickly and plagued by old morality.
Judgement is reality and judgement is an illusion.
Will we ever have the sense to know why we live?

June 26, 2008

My Pitch Is Life

Many days have come by the side of my desire to be a better human being. I want to score a goal.
Just like any player on the fields do. My pitch is life. My strengths are my weakness. I am coached through the hard times and savor the victories in between.

I wish for my life to be worth something more than just a dollar.
I wish to be remembered for something.

The agony of always being in the pursuit of glory is a tough sport.
I work hard and hope it pays off in the end. Sometimes I feel jealously for my opponents. Often I am too busy to just enjoy this beautiful game. My pitch is life. My offense is also my best defense. I play through the pain and heal way past stoppage time.

June 11, 2008

Filter Me

I am masked when showing my love.
Expressing my feelings is not something that comes easy for me.
I want to kiss her, but I don't know how to really kiss her.
It can be intimidating when one's ego needs to be purified.
Therefore, filter me.

Filter me with the compassion to keep my mouth shut and just let the moment take its course.
Let my maturity show my sensitive side to her.

Showing my feelings is not something that comes easy for me.
I want to romance her, but not in the same old way.
There has to be a healthy balance between candy and flowers.
Therefore, filter me.

Filter me with Laughter.
I don't want to take myself so serious all the time.
There is room for two in this paradise.

May 26, 2008

What Is Wrong With Love

My feelings are filled with confusion.
I love her and I hate her.
How is that possible?
Should it be this way?
Is it always this way?

We have so much in common.
We have nothing in common.
What is wrong with love?
I am at the mercy of forgiveness.
Mine and her's.

May 13, 2008

Silent Heart

I have just closed my heart. I can hear the sounds of a constant agony.

I have isolated my love.

I rest on a whisper. I realize I am alone like an old habit. When did I turn into the past. Did I miss my future? I forgot to love you. But, passion is all I needed to give. I forget to tell you. But, communication is all I need to provide.

I have isolated myself.

May 12, 2008

Once Upon Me

I pay the price for the creation of my serious nature.
I work too hard.
I think too much.
I give into reason
and I doubt my own faith sometimes.
The joke is never on me,
because I frown from the attention it might bring.
I am as serious as my sullen expression.
I have no monitary trust in how I spend my time.
The cost is too high.
The desire is too weak.
I give and I give and I give.

May 11, 2008

My Mind Is A Blank

All I know is digital, but I feel very analog.
All I'm told is FM, but I only hear AM.

The real spoken word
is left unspoken
as I sit in the back
of a house of prayers.
I only wonder
if I am valuable.
Who am I?
A block of memories.
A series of chapters
without a clear sense of reason.

All I watch is in color, but I enjoy is in black and white.
All I learn is right, but all I know is wrong.

April 9, 2008

Roses Are Red...

I bleed
the color red.
I cannot imagine
a world
where true romance
is an endangered species.
I cry
in the room
behind my thoughts and feelings.
I have yet to understand
why I care
so much
about my humanity.
What frightens me
the most
is being alone.

I hope she calls me back...............................

April 2, 2008

Journeyman

Time is the ultimate power in the world. I cannot buy into the feeling that I am so very vulnerable. I wander helplessly trying to find my way when all the while the journey is the way. The journey is life.

Not before, will it be too long,
and not after will it be forgotten.

I am the journey through the ticking and tocks. I make my bed in the shadows of being one day a photograph scrapbook. Never more the man with a good job or a beautiful face. Perhaps hailed in the value of wealth even though the money was never enough.

March 19, 2008

Sterilized

I stand out in complete isolation and speak out softly with very fine exclamations.

I wear out my longevity and stain my new order.

My wisdom is matched only by my lack of knowledge.

I hope in the new and I pray in the old. My fantasy is vibrant and my reality is bare.

Tomorrow might be a little to much for me.

March 14, 2008

Virtue

Please allow me to enjoy the beauty that exist in myself. As an enlightened spirit, to be mindful of thought, and to be mindful of feeling. To have no grievances. To feel no burdens.

Everything is within creation and as it should be.

I love and live in personal sanctity. Gathered in my resolve, my crusades, and all my moments. To have no regrets. To be in good time.

March 12, 2008

I Am A Craftsman

Do not be fooled by the cold climate of my words.
I am actually very excited to be living.
The realm of new discoveries is within me.
My daily life is a voyage.
Time is short.

Long, long ago I was bored within.
The mornings cried out to me and I cried with the mornings.
All was shadowed by the clouds in the night sky.

Now I can see the moon's light.
Yes, I am very devoted.
I've been working hard and waking up early.
My voice is cracked and my whispers are repetitive.
But, I can hear my healing and feel my desire.
Building within my abilities.

March 7, 2008

Light of Dark

The circles....
around my eyes....
tell the story....
I hold within....
my confidence.
I make more sense....
than this world....

gives me credit for.
The wisdom....
that is released....
out of my palms....
is a useful tool.
But, I lay awake....
at night....
trying to figure out....
how to be at peace....
within the universe.
If only light....
could travel....
through walls.
Maybe then I could see....
through the differences....
of mankind.

February 24, 2008

My Comfort Is In Life

I could be wrong, but I think my sunrise might have started when I began to think in the spirit of own own mortality. Life is indeed short, and living within solace is no way to live at all.

I might be making a mistake.
I might be running in the wrong direction.
But, I'm here in the now.
This day will be complete.

I don't claim to have a grasp on the edge of living in a world of cause and effect. I only choose to believe my purpose outweighs all the other alternatives to not trying to serve my spirit well. My weakness's are only in my head, and within my determination is the power to seize each sunrise.

February 11, 2008

The Battle Between Experiences

First, I wanted to be like
every other successful visionary.
Then, I cracked open my lungs.
.......Sat around.
.......Started to breathe.
The pieces of my eternity
were laid upon me on a rock.
A rough surface of life and experience.
Tomorrow I will begin to examine myself.
What am I and what do I stand for?
.......Safety and security?
.......Discovery and chance?
The next day will deliver
a new mess to be cleaned up.
The hours will pass by quickly
until there is no more time left.
Peace is tranquil
when every last ounce of sweat is lost.
.........I live for hope.
.........I live to dream.

February 8, 2008

The Fear Within Failure

I made a mistake.
I was afraid of the future...
Take me!!!
Take me!!!
Screaming, yelling, wishing....
Give me!!!
Give me!!!
And it would eventually grant me my destiny.

I used fear to guide me.
A path of arrogance for the future....
I'm stupid!!!
I'm stupid!!!
Now I am stuck.
I'm sorry!!!
I'm sorry!!!
I have no choice but just to survive.

February 4, 2008

Supernatural?

It was a whisper.
I think it was from someone I knew.
It was a whisper without words.
I heard only references from my past.
I was told to be brave!
I was told to live life!
The fear of failure is something we all have to overcome.
The chance to be significant is not so obvious.
You could fall flat on your face.
Lose you stature, lose your faith.
But, on the odd chance you do succeed,
what might the reward end up being?

January 22, 2008

Paper Moon

After crumbling my last sheet of paper.
I finally understood what had eclipsed me.
I had nothing to say.
Nothing to write beyond the spaces.

Nobody would care to question why the corrosion of self reliance is wisdom.
Everyday I feel strange because I do.
Because beyond ordinary is brittle words.

Every once in a while I debate the wake of my words.
Is being sensitive without showing emotion a curse?

January 21, 2008

A Graduate of Inner Sanctum

I think before honor.
Love in symantics.
My degree is in apologies.
Exposer is,
and invertion isn't.
Affections rise,
Vunerability denies.
Before reign is commottion.
After fury is fatigue.
And, peace is the center of sanctum.

January 16, 2008

Happiness Can Fall From Rainbows

She is from a rainbow.
Vast in the colors of life.
Brighter than sunshine.
Cleansed from heaven itself.
She was born the bounty of my something sweet.
A true blessing onto my heart.
I didn't know love could go beyond blessings.
But, harmony was in my arms.
And, peace was the soul survivor.
She is from many small stars.
In and out of the twilights.
A world within my new world.
My emotion beyond love.

January 14, 2008

The Great Divide

I don't want us to separate our feelings for one another. I am tired of the restless bed sheets. We could sleep soundly if we would only communicate above the fights and fires.

Too many arguments? Perhaps, we expect too much. Perhaps, we say too much. We are both to blame for the open soars we have inflicted. It is our aggressions that has become our wall.

I still can see through the foggy windows and glimpse at our first days. We were truly in love. We warmed the cold nights and laughed until the clouds were upside down.

Too many apologies? Perhaps, we said too much. Perhaps, we said too little. By now we've heard it all.

The clouds that cover up the moon are not forever. If we stick around long enough its light will shine. Our love is a reflection of light. We need to stop forecasting gloom at one another. Perhaps, we could start again.

January 11, 2008

The Day I Lost Journalism

I was buried when I finally came to my senses.
It was time, to become a man.
It was time, to become a patriot.
It was time, to feed my bottom line.
There were no flowers on my grave stone.
Tears and sentiments went by the book,
and this book was written of lost dreams.

I reflected a quiet casket of sadness the day I woke up.
I will not be a voice of the people after all.
It all got lost in translation, lost in economics.
Tomorrow and it's other days will find me behind a shadow.
It just won't be my shadow.
Freedom and sacrifice are now edged on my forehead.
Without soul, without a light,
I live for food and drink without salvation.
My passion has been rendered cheap and without much enterprise.
Armed with only a few survival instincts,
I step aside without much use to pad and paper.
I was made a victim and became my own killer.

January 9, 2008

A Universe Of Self

The week turned into another new year and I still don't want to be alone. There is no dimension for silence. Seclusion is the bondage I wrap my existence around. When did I go into my black hole and let loneliness separate me from my eternal star? I am more afraid today than ever before of my current standing with the sun. I am a great distance from where I once was as a man. Nobody can make me happy, when I myself don't know what happiness is.

January 6, 2008

The Storms That Cloud My Judgements

What is the weather when I am isolated in my own thoughts. My mind is supposed to be my umbrella. It will shade me from the suns of laughter. It will block me from the winds of inspiration. It will shield me from the rains of fury.

Perhaps I think too much and therefore forget to feel on the inside. Maybe I am as serious as I am mysterious. My thin and straight laced exterior gives blame to my thick blood and conservative brainstorms. My beliefs are strong. I stranglehold myself with the obsession that my life be clean and organized.

Peace within memories and protect me from my amnesia. Peace within love and protect me from laziness. Peace within compassion and protect me from intolerance. Peace within pleasure and protect me from my addictions.

January 4, 2008

Good Side

I'd like to address you as my good side. Address you with stamps, lick your envelope with kisses.
There is a part of me that takes pleasure in your emotion. The same part of me that takes comfort in your bondage. The true nature of my beast is within your bosom. I am wild to the sense of your touch and feel.
I'd like to appeal to your sense and grace and return to you the same generosity for that which you have given me. I'd like to unpeel all the layers which have made you the beautiful woman you are, and carress the fine fragrance within your embrace.