December 31, 2007

All Is In You

I will tell you what is on my mind.
The Earth, the sun, and you.

You are the wind in my hair.
My memories in love.
You are all things sacred to me.
My dreams in love.
You are the foundation of my emotions.
My happiness in love.

I will share with you what is in my heart.
The passion, the desire, and you.

December 26, 2007

My Holiday

I stood out in the cold winter air. I watched my breath leave my soul. Icicles touching the bottom of my twilight. I was alone for the first time on this day. The trees were bare as I was bare. The clouds stood still as I stood still. The wind was calm and I was calm.
This was the holiday I'd been waiting for. A break from the hustle. A chance to hear myself think. A dream within a portrait of powder. Peace within me, peace within the moment.

December 19, 2007

The Expectations Put Upon

Ever think you do the best you can and it's still not enough? That is what this poem is about.

I think without asprin.
But, I dream with asperations.
My headaches are desire.
My anxieties are for real.

I want to be a good student.
I want to be a good son.
I want to be a good lover.
But, I don't have the time.

I see without glasses.
But, I look with shades.
My focus is sometimes limited.
My vision is jaded.

Whatever I do, I do out of good intentions.
Whatever I try, I try to meet those expectations.
Whatever I make, I make the best of it.
But, I don't always succeed.

I listen without music.
But, I echo with static.
My range is narrow minded.
My qualifications are limited.

I've never been struck by lightning...twice.
I've never made the same mistake....twice.
I've never fooled with my heart ...twice.
But, I take responsiblity.

December 17, 2007

Our Preoccupation Is Possession

I wrote this a while ago but you wouldn't know it since it could have been written today. Where we are so brainwashed by the media into believing we need to buy our happiness.

The world is a series of mind exhibits.
We are raised, cultivated, and established to have a work ethic that employs us to sigh five days a week.
Our mission is pain and suffering.
Our reward is the weekend.
Then we serve a new master.
The glory road we travel is enlightened with goods and services we don't need.
We think they fall from outer space,
but they came from our own backyards.
The surface of our fears is that we don't have enough of the little things when infact the car we drive is too big.
We are told we are not good enough, pretty enough, tough enough to buy into a commercial stereotype.
Fuel and self esteem is in short supply and Monday always comes quicker than you think.
We consume too much and deliver so little.
The gifts we give are not wrapped with a bow and ribbon.
We share nothing.
We expose our insecurities, not our hearts.
We sell our souls for cheap leather and brand name designers.

December 16, 2007

Succumbing To Attraction

I think it was about time I entered a poem dealing with another kind of human emotion....... "lust".

Cutting through the back-talk of sexual innuendo.
I thrust toward your mind and body with total affection.
What are we? Who are we?
At this moment we are beast of burning feathers and silks.
Flocking flames of sense and touch.
Mesmerized by lust, compelled by attraction.
A new experiment? A new story?
Orgasmic! Hot!
Pushing across a mattress of wild berries til dusk.
Waking up undefined with moans of life, love and serenity.

December 13, 2007

21st Century Household

More sarcasm from me.

The backyard is a vast oasis of life, liberty, and the pursuit of the next mortgage payment.
The kitchen is a meeting ground of cooking, cleaning, and capturing a second of your child's time.
The bedroom is the grand stage for love, honor, and the obedience of who is right.
The living room is a big vaccume of time, space, and the next frontier for your tivo television programs.

Cruelty Free

I am not one to push my views on people. However, I write from the heart and this is from the heart. If this poem offends, I have plenty about love and loss to read on this blog. In any case this is not about becoming a vegetarian, its about choosing to buy caged free from your grocery and avoiding factory farms.

Today I discovered the world.
I discovered myself.
I want to live in a vegetable garden.
I don't want to fill my body with confinement.

Range Free.
Cage Free.
Cruelty free.

Today I discovered my voice.
I discovered power.
I want to be a better consumer.
I don't want to turn a blind eye to ethics.

Range Free.
Cage Free.
Cruelty Free.

Today I discovered my humanity.
I discovered principle.
I want to make a difference.
I don't want to be alone.

December 12, 2007

A Good Crush

Nobody is perfect for us. But, while we think they are, it's great.

I know I have made her out to be more
than she actually is.
The truth is sometimes not important.
I thrive off false hope.

I don't need to be told
my expectations are too high.
The real deal is somewhere between a good centerfold.
Only my imagination matters.

I understand the natural flaws she is bound to have
will eventually awake.
All dreams must end and reality sets in.
My inspiration thrives in good times.

From the distance that I see her,
she has inspired me to love.
With healthy body, mind and soul.
Instead of being well grounded.

That perfect image I have created will erupt into a blaze.
I want to feel the burn.
It transcends all my fanaticism's.

Committed To Each Other

This was one of my few attempts at trying to rhyme. The title of this one explains it all.

Love is the past to both of us,
and love the future must be.
No other waves will ever stray us into forbidden seas.
So gentle is romance to close our eyes,
and set our emotions free.
From the alter of our spoken vow,
to vestal purity.

December 10, 2007

Racing With My Heart

A love poem I wrote using race car metaphors. I tend to judge my older stuff a bit harsh. What do you think of this poem?
With each of my passing laps around the race track......all I can feel is the ever-increasing rate at which my motor is racing.
No matter what I do, work, play, eat..... she is constantly on my mind. My motto about being in control when behind the wheel.... is once again in the repair shop. I am a fine tuned machine unable to work under these strenuous conditions.
I am finding it difficult to breathe without her near me. I am way past the red line and over-heating. Whatever I do to keep busy, my mind is detoured back into a road block facing her sweetness. My love is at an all time high and moving on a collision course with my heart.

I Wear Black

1997. I was in college and this was really just my way of making a statement about how materialistic people have become and how its affecting the world we live in.

What is the color of my mood supposed to be?
We live in a society where greed runs in charge.
Where how you look on the outside is more important than the planet you (f-word) to get it.
Therefore, the image I project in plain view for all the world to inverted.

I wear black.

The corporate beasts that run this world are petrified and unstable.
A "Citizen Kane" incognito.
The addition of their subtractions is only going to weaken whatever goodwill is left and any hope of a better tomorrow.

I can't be the only one who cares about something more than keeping up with pop culture.
My temperature is above what's considered normal.
The sun is in my veins.
The colors of the rainbow are just blind folds that people wear to shield them from the harsh truths about their wasteful lifestyles.

I know who I am.
I know this world needs changing.
I don't need possessions to make me feel better about myself.
Black is the only reflection I need to keep me looking outward instead of inward.
Vanity is wasting our natural resourses.

December 9, 2007

Single Family

I am entering my most personal poem yet on this blog. It deals with my family and the relationship I never had with them.

Where is my tribe?
My family was not my family.
They were just a bunch of cannibals that I had to share the television with.
We barely even spoke the same language.
I spoke of love, while they spoke of themselves.
Our resemblence ended with the photo album.
It is such a burden being an orphan within my own mind.
I was placed in a single-family household of emotions.
I was feed a pack of abandonment and have to raise my family with concerns of starvation.

Countryside Garden

This poem is a story I made up about a young man who is unable to express his affections to a woman. I used garden references in an attempt to make this poem sound more fragile. If I had written this today I would have understood that love is as fragile as it gets. Meeting girls was a topic of conversation that came up a lot durng this time with my friends.

Pasture sweet pleasantries you able minded romantic.
You make winning the love of a women's heart seem so easy.
I wish I could be more like you..........

My story is not the same.
It begins with my competitive desire to win the love of a flower.
It grows every time I talk to her.
I would put on a cunning smile and listen to her with best intentions.
Sadly, nightfall was only a day away.

Deep in thought, I still wanted to win her love.
I scatter my brain with idea's of grace and grandeur.
The next day the rue raindrops showed on my leaves of self doubt as I failed to make a good impression yet again.
There was no streams and meadows in my countryside garden.
But, I kept trying.

The next morning I woke up from a sleeping bloom and shaded my self pity with a song about her.
It was a whole-heart outburst about the spring and her eyes.
I could hardly wait to give it to her.
But, I could not.
I hardened like a grain of sand and flew away with the next wind.
I hit the ground as an uncertain seed needing encouragement to grow into a man she could love.
The gardens of romantic splendor don't apply to everyone.

December 7, 2007

Blanket Feelings

I think there are moments when we all feel isolated. For me, that happens when I am stressed. The term blanket feelings comes from the idea that when we do feel alone from whatever is ailing us, we are our own vice as well.

I can't put my heart on the pulse of what is freezing me.
All I know is I have been feeling very sick the last few months.
So, I've have been sleeping with a blanket over my head just to stay warm.

The sum of all my chills is based on the feeling that I can fix my own problems.
The truth is...I can't!
I don't know how and all my attempts have left me gridding my teeth.

My only recourse was to organize my soul.
So, I've been cleaning around with different detergents .
The results brought me even further exhaustion.
With each passing day I cleaned more and more.
I soaked up plenty of dirt but still find even more between my fingernails.
I was still feeling very ice-olated.

I am so tired now.
After days of working my need to clean house.
I am down to my bare essentials and have raised my therometer to a boiling point.

December 6, 2007


1991. I was in my high school history class when I started writing this and it eventually became my first poem. Before this I wrote stories where the main character was my outlet to express myself. It deals with my attitude towards those in charge of me as a teenager. Eventually I wrote several other Medium themed poems.

Are you feeling confused from being a part of generation X?
Are you tired of living in a society that has already experienced everything?
Do you find yourself stuck behind a history book?
Do you think your forefathers showed a lack of principles?

You are not alone.
I think the past is full of false heroism.

Are you following the path towards righteousness?
Are you developing into the adult everyone hopes you become?
Have you kissed all your hopes and dreams goodbye in order to make everyone else happy?

You have a decision to make.
There is a war going on and it is fought with opinions.

Consider yourself part of a similar medium. At this time in our lives we are stuck somewhere in the middle between the small and large people.

December 4, 2007

No Control

I think this is something everyone can relate with, so I decided to put this one on the blog.

My world is the creation of being powerless.
All I ever do is make..... excuses.

I have no control over anything.
It's very hard to accept that.
After all, I'm a control freak!

I can't make anyone love me.
(As much as I have tried)
I can't make anyone respect me.
(As much as I have tried)
I can't make this world a better place.
(So I haven't even tried)

I'm Confused

I wrote this a few nights ago. I was in a sarcastic mood.

I'm confused.
So my calender is all booked up with my handwriting.
I sure wish I could read all my abbreviations.

I'm confused.
So everyone wants to celebrate the new year.
I guess my deductible is due for a recharge.

I'm confused.
So she looks even better without make-up.
Why didn't the commerical ever mention that was a possible side- effect.

I'm confused.
So the score was right before the game even started.
It ended zero to zero.

I'm confused.
So a vegetarian eats from the heart.
Everyone else eats the other body parts.

I'm confused.
So what was the name of that song I just heard.
You know the one without words or melody.

I'm confused.
So I never heard my mother laugh.
But, she sure loved a good comedy.

I'm confused.
But, I still refuse to change my mind.
Call me stubburn, so I will still argue with you.

December 3, 2007

It's In Her

2007. I wrote this watching my wife sleeping in bed.

I think about her more when she is happy.
It's her smile!
How her cheeks perk up and raise the temperature ever so slightly.

I think about her more when she is asleep.
It's her lips!
How they pucker together as she breathes in a steady and calm sexuality.

I think aout her more when she is rushed.
Its her voice!
How it sounds in a fast rythmic passage slowly running out of patience.

I think about her more when she is excited.
It's her energy!
How her face lights up the mood even in the most calm circumstances.

Dating Game

1997. I wrote this after I had a terrible date. She was flirting with other men and I even turned down getting some. This poem really needs to be read slowly. I wanted key words to really sink and images to go through the readers head.

I stand and see my own teeth in front of the mirror of the bar!
This gives me a chance to brush aside all my anger.
I was so worried about my breath and how it smelled that I forgot to look at her in the mirror.
You have no idea how many victims are laughing at me.
The remains of her last meal are still showing on her teeth.
He must have been a nice guy too.
She gets around.
When she comes into contact with a man,
she does what she was born to do.
Chew! Chew like a carnivore.
Now you understand why I travel alone sometimes.
I have an appetite too, but I never let it get in the way of my good nature.
She is a filthy habit that I must break.
I didn't plan my evening to be this way.
I wanted to have dinner for two, not be feed a pack of lies.

I had to walk away.
Atleast that gives me the opporunity to play the dating game my way.

Lonely Tonight, Forever Lonely

1993. I was a shy person back then. I was very proud of this. I even read it on stage once. That was big for me.

Lonely tonight, forever lonely.
Those are not just words you know....

Lonely tonight, forever lonely.
Why whisper it when you can scream it.....

Lonely tonight, forever lonely.
And yesterday will never be the same again....

As I hide behind the bushes that grow taller and taller each spring,
I stare towards the girls my own age.
They are so intimidating, so different.
I know they can see me.
I hear them talking about me,
and I wait.
I wait for the clouds to bring the rain.
I could say so many profound things to them if I wanted.
But, the signal gets muffled by all the noises that persist in my weak tongue.

Lonely tonight, forever lonely.
There's a lot I can do with spare time.....

Lonely tonight, forever lonely.
The heart is and echo of self pity......

Lonely tonight, forever lonely.
And the birth of the future begins and ends in the same breath.....

Gray Leaf

I was very happy with my writing skills when I wrote the stuff in "Gray". I always thought my stuff is blah, but the ones I had in this volume I thought people would actually think were cool. This one is about how I came to realize that everyone comes from a disfunctional family.

As I stand before family tree,
I can't help but see all the different flourescent images that make them behave so badly.
They are different shades of gray in my opinion.
There is no perfect world.
Nor will there ever be one while I'm around because g-d wants it that way.
Those who suffer with belief of family values are destined for a life of self sacrifice.

The true colors of the rainbow are sometimes camouflaged with a dull primer that simply allows the ruins of our lost souls to deal with the adversity a bit better for a long depression.
How else will we be able to stand the test of time with the very people we came from.

My only regret is not being able to see their real faces from the very beginning.
But, I'm sure there's a reason for that.

We are all in the image of a leaf.....
We work our way around our family tree...
We live.
We grow.
We love.
A leaf in the mix of a bundle.
Without color.

December 2, 2007

Value Priced Commodity

Do you think that the people you hang out really care about you? I wonder sometimes.

I am a warm hearted guy if people ever took the time to really get to know me.
The truth is nobody knows me.
They judge me by what I can can do for them.
I am a value priced commodity with a face.

If I speak my mind, I am a bastard.
If I keep my mouth shut, I need to express myself.
In the meantime I need to keep selling myself.
I am a value priced commodity with a face.

Everyone expects me to listen to the same ol' story.
As if I have not heard their gripes before.
Do they ever just stop complaining.
I am a value priced commodity with a face.

December 1, 2007

Trying To Win Your Heart

I write my best when I am frustrated. This poem expresses my feeling after an argument with my wife. I am still mad at her but I love her still the same.

I should quit while I am still behind.
I have never been good with competition.
And even if I do win
by some odd stroke of luck....
what does that even mean.

Victory is so judgemental.
It affects people differently.
Who is to say anyone really cares.
Sometimes I don't even care.
Winning is just instant gratification as we blind ourselves from the simple truth that tomorrow we will still be someone's employee, someone's customer, or worse someone's slave.

I could be your #1.
But it will only last for so long before you grow tired and I become ancient history.
I am a sad version of the new version, soon to be the old version of whatever you used to find interesting.

I am just like everyone else.
I can't win for trying but I try anyway's to win your heart.

November 30, 2007

Thirteen (Heaven?)

In the end.... a happy ending.

If not for the wind...
I could not have found this place.....
I am to be greeted by the same spirit as before me.....

What a wonderful place.
The blues, the greens, all the colors of the rainbow.
Is this heaven?

The Day

I wrote this way back in 1994. I always liked this poem which means nobody else will. ha-ha. It was my way of trying to explain how I felt when I had lousy day of doing the same old routine things again. Keep in mind I was 18.

The day, no less rises from the same chain of events.
It begins to mourn and ends with a good night.
If I could only count the number of times the sun has abandoned the day, I too may be able to relate with its pain.
Is there no going back?

The day, no less rises from the same lazy greeting.
It follows the clock around the moon.
It sleeps with the window open.

Follow the dream of a sunset strip.
Walk with me in good company.
Smell the flowers as they begin to bloom and eat dinner after midnight.
Make the mourning wait for you and take a nap when you feel like it.

As An Adult

You know those days when it hits you that you're getting old, or atleast older. I wrote this during one of those days.

I must be getting more emotional as an adult.
The other day I cried in a movie theater.
The main character and I had a lot in common.

I must be getting smarter as an adult.
At the dinner table I didn't finish my plate.
Instead, I stopped eating when I felt full.

I must be getting bored as an adult.
Someone told me about a brand new song.
I heard it by someone else before.

I must be getting simplistic as an adult.
My wife told me to relax.
I did some gardening and thanked her later.